Sideline Chatter: I guess having to wear off-brand Speedos will teach him

I guess you could say this penalty hit below the belt.

Russian swimmer Evgeny Rylov, a two-time gold medalist at the Tokyo Olympics, had his Speedo ripped off – or more accurately, had his sponsorship deal with the swimwear maker canceled – for appearing on stage during of President Vladimir Putin’s pro-war pep rally this month.

Securities

• AT TheOnion.com: “Frank Vogel waits for LeBron to nod before drawing the next line on a whiteboard.”

• AT Fark.com: “Al Michaels signs with Amazon for ‘Joe Buck money’, or simply ‘Bucks’.”

Tennessee Lightning

Tennessee pitcher Ben Joyce uncorked a fastball against South Carolina that was clocked at 104 mph.

The batter didn’t see it, but said it sounded fast.

Old students

Archaeologists working under the floor of Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral have discovered several tombs probably dating from the 14th century.

No word on if they woke echoes.

Quick release from KC

The Dolphins traded for Tyreek Hill — one of the fastest and most elusive wide receivers in the NFL — and rewarded the ex-chief with a four-year, $120 million deal.

Who said the cheetah never thrives?

Cue the violins

North Macedonia scored in stoppage time to beat Italy 1-0 – Italy’s first defeat in 60 World Cup qualifiers on home soil – and knock them out of a second straight appearance in the World Cup.

The reaction in Rome? Let’s say that if Nero were alive, he would play the violin.

couch potato

Skiing and shooting, hah! Let’s hear it for real modern biathlon: filling out a March Madness bracket and playing fantasy football.

well tattooed

Last Monday was World Tattoo Day.

How else do you explain the women of fourth-seeded Oklahoma getting tattooed 108-64 by Notre Dame on the Sooners’ field?

From bloom to bust

We decided to plant a March Madness garden this year – lots of #1 and #2 seeds.

raised hand

Prospect QB Kenny Pickett’s much-discussed hand size increased by ⅛ inch, measuring 8⅝ inches on Pitt’s pro day.

He immediately jumped five spots on the fake scout scoreboards.

Team for sale

The consortium which includes Todd Boehly, co-owner of the Dodgers and Lakers, is among the favorites to buy Chelsea, whose Russian owner has been stripped of its stake.

Where’s Ted Lasso?

speak the conversation

• Ex-Times photographer Lindsey Wasson, via Twitter, on Mile High Stadium catching fire 16 days after Broncos acquired QB Russell Wilson: ‘Did they let Russ cook too much?

• The late John Madden, in 1993, on television broadcasters’ big paychecks: “If you have a person who wants you, you get a job. If you have two people who want you, you get a lot. And if you have three or more, you get a bargain.

don’t have it

ESPN traded the rights to broadcast next season’s Penn State-Purdue football game to Fox in exchange for Joe Buck’s release from the final year of his contract.

Penn State-Purdue? Apparently, Fox really coveted Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

The quotation marks

• San Diego Union-Tribune’s Nick Canepa on Bucs QB Tom Brady’s non-retirement: “Brady obviously loves his kids, but after two months of seeing him too much, Gisele told Tommy to go hang out more with much older children.

• Orlando (Florida) Sentinel’s Mike Bianchi on Phil Mickelson not playing Masters for first time in 28 years: “When you’re canceled by Augusta National, the least woke organization in all of sports , you’ve really gotten into deep doo-doo.

• Bills GM Brandon Beane, on the Pat McAfee Show, when McAfee told him he could trade QB Josh Allen to the Colts for anything he wanted: “I’d trade myself before I trade Josh.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on retiring Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski appearing to wipe away a tear in a postgame interview: “Well, as Tom Brady and Brett Favre say, the first retirement is the hardest .”

• Bruce Penton, evaluating this year’s potential Stanley Cup winners: “Sorry, Leafs fans, your team is probably still one of the underdogs. But 1967 was a great year, wasn’t it?

Expensive shoes

QB Marcus Mariota, signed by the Falcons to replace Matt Ryan, said: “Those are big shoes to fill, no doubt.”

Big yes, but definitely more expensive. Ryan, despite playing for the Colts this season, will still cost the Falcons a record $40.5 million in dead money.

Quote, end of quote

• Phillies color analyst Ruben Amaro Jr., on an NBC Sports show in Philadelphia, after failing to catch a foul ball that hit play-by-play man Tom McCarthy in the chest during a a spring training game: “Those are my hands again. That’s why they moved me to the outfield.

• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on new Broncos coach Nathaniel Hackett: “Looks like he could carry a musket behind George Washington in the Revolutionary War.”

• Saint Peter basketball coach Shaheen Holloway to reporters on being an NCAA Tournament underdog: “I have guys from New Jersey and New York. You think we’re scared of anything?

• Seahawks WR DK Metcalf, via Twitter, after suggesting the door was open for a trade with the Chiefs: “Best shut it, I heard it was cold at night.”

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